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September 28, 2014

Where The Heck Do I Belong?

I would be lying if this question wasn't a bit annoying.   Where do we belong?  Where do we plant roots?  Where are our ‘people?'

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Okay, okay—you got me.  It's not a bit annoying.  It's REALLY annoying.  Especially since we have SO MANY people who we adore—places we can plant roots—-cities and churches and movements that we can TOTALLY make work.  But Jesus isn't being clear, and here we are in my least favorite place in the world…

In the waiting room.

At this very moment, my bearded hubs is driving a Penske truck across the country with all of our belongings….the same belongings that have been in storage for over a year.  That's right, I said it—for 13 months, I've lived out of 3 suitcases and 2 cars.  It's amazing how little you realize you actually need when you can survive/be fine with what you own inside of 3 suitcases.

We're not moving our belongings because we know where we're supposed to go, or because we even miss our possessions that I've forgotten even exist.  We're moving them back because we're tired of spending money on a Los Angeles storage facility, and there you have it.

I dream every day about my someday house—the one that I get to hammer nails in the walls to hang my memories.  I dream about the floor plan, searching real estate in every city I visit, scouring Pinterest for ideas.  I dream about our next step, wondering when God is going to release us from the unknown into the known.  I wonder about the place that He has planned for us—the people, the friends, the schools for our children, the ministry, the geographical location.

And in the words of my favorite Bill Johnson—any thought that I have about my future without the Holy Spirit is subject to distortion.  Which means, I don't get to plan out or even think about my future without His counsel and wisdom.

If I begin to look at what we don't have, I'll be overwhelmed.  If I start to ask questions about where we're supposed to go—attempting to logically figure it out—I'll be striving.  If I get inside of my head, and move away from my heart—I'll be practical.

But my God doesn't always move in the practical, and that's not the life I want to lead.  I want to be led by the Spirit into impossible situations that require a BIG God—the big God who lives inside of me and calls me out to walk on the water.

So here we are as a little family in the waiting room, and the worst thing to do in the waiting room is to speculate.  The worst thing to do is imagine all the horrible things that could be wrong, or what the doctor is going to say, or come up with a diagnosis before an examination.  The BEST thing to do is simply sit back, read whatever's in your hand, and enjoy the waiting.

 

I'll never forget the day when I was crying out to God, asking for a home after years of being on the road, and He spoke directly to my heart:

Christa, wherever you are—that is your home—because I've made my home inside of you.    

And his words changed everything.

 

“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst?”  -I Cor 3:16

 

This weekend, as my son Moses and I entered our hotel room at the Marriott in Dallas, TX, I exclaimed with excitement, “Moses, let's go see our home for tonight!”  And that hotel room was our home—because we were all together inside of it.  As I walked into my parents house today, I said, “Moses, this is our house for today!”  We've had homes in foreign cities, countless hotel rooms, and plenty of rental cars.  And though I long for a home with a root system growing deep, the amazing thing about our God is……

He's made His home inside of us, where we can always be at home inside of Him.

Take a deep breath today in your transitions.  The waiting room isn't a terrible place—it provides moments to rest, to listen, to hear.  It gives us seconds to be present in the moment—not worrying about the future—moments to understand what HOME really is.

 

Home isn't just a place where you hang your clothes in a closet—-it's a place inside of your heart, the place filled with peace, rest, and joy.  It's a place of deep satisfaction, even as the questions try to swirl you into fear.  It's a place where you're rooted in relationship, intimacy, and trust.

No matter where the twisting road of life leads you today, as the road bends and turns, sit back and look around.  Take a minute and drink in the moments—good or bad.  You're on the adventure of your life, and it's an adventure where you're never alone.  Life isn't about a place—it's about a person.

And even when the question marks stay unanswered, you can never be lost if you're already found—found in Him.

xx,

CBG_SIGNATURE

 

8 Responses to “Where The Heck Do I Belong?”

  1. Carrie Crawford

    So well said. After coming home from WorshipU this Summer, within a couple weeks I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have 3 little boys and surgery in 2 weeks. God has clearly intervened from the start of all of it and it was caught so early that think surgery be the only thing needed. But wow…what a rough waiting time this has been- to come home so very inspired to write songs and sing my story…. But then this chapter opened, and it was one I never saw coming. In the waiting, we find out who we really are in Him and have two choices- rest, or become exhausted. I choose rest. Praying for you and all who find themselves in the unknown, they they will take comfort in our all-knowing Father.

  2. Carrie Crawford

    So well said. After coming home from WorshipU this Summer, within a couple weeks I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have 3 little boys and surgery in 2 weeks. God has clearly intervened from the start of all of it and it was caught so early that think surgery be the only thing needed. But wow…what a rough waiting time this has been- to come home so very inspired to write songs and sing my story…. But then this chapter opened, and it was one I never saw coming. In the waiting, we find out who we really are in Him and have two choices- rest, or become exhausted. I choose rest. Praying for you and all who find themselves in the unknown, they they will take comfort in our all-knowing Father.

  3. Woah! Again so timely!! This week a family who has been living with me for a year are moving out of my home. My house will be going from 7 people back down to me, and this transition has left me with so many questions about “What next”? I’ve been crying out to God asking “What should I do?” and yet there does not seem to be a real clarity, except just WAIT!! I have a job, a house, stuff, clothes in my closet, but what spending this year with this family has taught me is that when circumstances come, or “stuff” is taken away, what will remain is love!!! Love with God, love with one another, relationships. I used to think I was not worthy of love! This family this year taught me that love is a choice! Love never gives up! Love is something you give to someone not for what they do but for who they are! So as I prepare my heart to bless this family on the next adventure they will face, I am also transitioning and applying every life lesson they have taught me over this past year. So my house will soon be pretty empty of “stuff”, the cupboards will go back to a single persons scarce selection, the extra shoe mats at the door will be put away, the toys will all be gone, but what remains in my heart and forever will is the constant love I was given, not because of anything I did, but simply because of who I am! And being able to receive that love, allows me to truly love others as well. That my friend is something no building, no furniture, no tv program, no home, nothing can give you!! God has truly used this past year to teach me first and foremost that I am worthy of love not only from Him, but from others as well, and that as I receive that love, I am than able to give that love!!!!!

  4. Very timely indeed. I’m 42 and always seem to be wrestling with career. Never seem to really get into in that “sweet spot” job-wise, so every year or two or three it seems like I’m starting over, or going in circles. Can be very frustrating, but on the other hand I know the “perfect job” isn’t the answer anyway 🙂 Thanks.

  5. Sarah Davis

    Lovely thank you for sharing, for consistently being vulnerable and transparent. For BEing his vessel, for allowing him to articulate beauty and truth in spoken or written words. He is dancing over us with joy…Isaiah…he is so much grander than I can fathom and for some reason a vicious peace flows from that reminder! Blessings dear Christa, Moses and Studhub husband. You are all so loved.

  6. Thank you for this post, Christa! The Lord spoke so strongly just now to me through your beautiful words and season, and it’s EXACTLY what my heart needed. Blessings to you and your sweet family!

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