I was 99% certain that when my doctor did her ultrasound today, we were going to hear the heartbeat of my baby.
But the 20 seconds leading up to the confirmation, you better believe that 1% kicked in, racing my heartbeat as fast as a galloping horse.
It wasn't exactly fear that crept in, but more like a looming question mark that threatened to explode my body. Other explosions, however, were warmly welcomed when my doctor softly said, “Look, I can see the heart beating.”
“You do?” I asked, voice shaking.
And as I saw the little swirl of blood pumping through my little lime-sized baby, peace fell upon my body like a tidal wave onto the shore.
There appeared to be a tear in my placenta, pointed out on the ultrasound by my doctor. But since I've all but stopped bleeding, she didn't seem to think it was a big deal anymore, so it must not be a big deal anymore. (WAVES ARMS WILDLY AND DANCES INTERNALLY). But man, that ‘no big deal' sure wasn't fun this weekend, especially when it resembled a crime scene. I'm on orders to rest, lots and lots of rest, to listen to my body, and if I start bleeding again, park it vertically for a bit. (Thank you Netflix for making this bearable).
Thanks for all of your beautiful outpouring of love, prayers, messages, testimonies, and confirmations of faith. I hadn't planned on saying anything but I must say, I sure am glad I did.
Love you all, and remember…..always expect miracles. (: