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June 18, 2015

My New Home For A Bit: The Hospital

Here I am….laying in this hospital bed at 4:28 am, listening to the beeping of my heart monitor, and the treasure of my IMG_3987daughter's heart beating loudly through the speaker beside me–believing with every fiber of my being that both hearts will continue to beat, despite the amniotic fluid that began leaking out of my womb today.

 

 

This morning started off like any other day, waking up to my son Moses wanting good morning cuddles, then heading over to Gold Monarch Healing Center to pour into some beautiful guests who had flown in from Canada and all over the United States.  We had already seen incredible miracles as hearts were being bound up and put back together, then manifesting in the body.  One beautiful friend had her cutting scars DISAPPEAR during her HeartSync session when God healed her from the emotional scars, giving her smooth, new skin.  Another friend had asked Jesus for rain, and as it poured strangely from the Texas sky in June, we all laughed and watched as she ran outside to play in the downpour–soaked in the new joy rising up from her new heart being healed.  Tonight as we all ate out on the patio and I told the story of Gold Monarch, just as I said, “And as we were walking along, a Monarch flew in front of us and I said, “Mom, what if we call the healing center ‘Gold Monarch?'–and just as I told the story, as if on cue from heaven, ANOTHER monarch nose-dived into the center of our table as we all gasped and laughed in awe and wonder.

God has been showing off all week–and I know He's going to continue to show off in this strange pregnancy situation.

 

This afternoon, I began leaking fluid.  Didn't think much about it but went to get checked anyway, and it looked like there was no rupture.  But as I went back to teach my class tonight, I felt more fluid release, then heading to Labor and Delivery to get checked out since I'm only 31 weeks.

 

And that's when it was confirmed–I've ruptured….. and aside from a miracle, there is nothing manmade that can stop it.

 

As I laid in the hospital bed earlier this evening, hearing the news that this is the bed where I will lay on my back until my daughter is born, I literally haven't left the realm of peace–not for one single second.  Everything I have learned this past year in the loss of my daughter, Luca Gold–it's working, and I've built up so much capacity for intimacy and relationship inside my heart, there's just not much room for fear–even with the IV's, the beeping, the contractions that come every 3-4 minutes, and the diagnosis.

I have found a place in the heart of my Father where peace is always available–and because I'm locked into intimacy, I never have to leave this place.  I have found that happiness is circumstantial, but joy is relational, and I NEVER leave relationship with the Trinity who made their home inside.

As I laid here tonight worshiping over my womb, I looked up and saw the face of my Father.  He was hovering to my right, head leaning down to kiss my forehead as He played with my hair.  I felt Him say that this time, as I stayed with Him in intimacy, in rest, and in the presence, He was going to fight for me. This wasn't the time to war and declare.  This wasn't the time for fervent prayer.  This was the time when He wanted me to be His little girl, tucking in close to His heart–as He went to battle for my little girl.

I get to war from a place of peace—and worship.

I get to fight from a place of victory–not towards it.

 

I'm on a magnesium IV to help slow down the contractions, and got steroids to help develop her respiratory system because her lungs don't really get going until 32 weeks–a week away.  So now, it's just a waiting game.  But every day she cooks inside of me, it's 5 days she won't be in the NICU, so we're hoping she stays in there until at least 35 weeks…..or full term!

 

Here's what I'm believing for.  I'm believing for every drop of fluid lost to be restored–supernaturally.  I'm believing she's going to confound statistics and that this pregnancy would end with miracle after miracle.  I'm believing in the greatness of my God–the One who heals all diseases, all infirmities, and all sicknesses–restoring life from things lost.  I'm believing for my Redeemer to show off a bit and do what He does best–make all things new.

 

I'll take your prayers of they're filled with faith and not panic–because I'm not panicking.  We've been told by God that this little girl will restore our song, and that's exactly what she's going to do.  And though these aren't the circumstances I would have chosen to get her into my arms, as long as she ends up in my arms healthy and alive, I'm good to go.

How could I possibly be afraid when the Healer lives inside of me?  How could I leave peace when the Prince of peace reigns over me?

My new book–the one about learning how to thrive when all hell comes at you, because heaven lives inside of you—it's almost finished and turned into my publisher, Zondervan, in a couple weeks.  (And for those of you who keep asking, that's the reason I haven't been blogging!)  And man oh man….is this one gonna be good.  I know the authority on my life to release healing in the midst of deep pain, and nothing….NOTHING  will stop that message from going forth.  NOTHING that comes against my family will prosper.  NOTHING that rises up against me will take us out.

I am a daughter, in the arms of my Father.  And He gets to fight this battle while I rest in Him.

 

xx,

Signature CBG

 

 

 

45 Responses to “My New Home For A Bit: The Hospital”

  1. Shandy

    Praying for you, your family and your precious baby girl. God’s got you and her in His hands!!! 🙂 Super excited to see pictures of her when you deliver full term!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God I bless this precious life in Christa’s Womb. We know you have plans, purposes and great destiny for this precious baby girl. You know everything in Christa right now that needs to be healed in order for the process of complete and whole growth to happen and so we ask for that healing touch even now. I also ask for peace, comfort and help for her husband and Moses as they walk out these next few weeks. That there would be a supernatural strength and peace for them, and that time would move swiftly. 🙂 I bless each one of them and thank you that your incredible power and healing is already moving through Christa and baby girl even now. Thank you for what you are doing and what you are going to continue to do in this family. AMEN!!!
    Bless you guys!!!! Can’t wait until the new book comes out. 🙂 #real #authentic #lifechanging is what you carry!!!!!!

  2. Your faith and your journey are so inspiring! And I don’t mean that in a generic way. I can literally feel faith rising in me as I read this! So good! So good! So good!
    I love that confidence you’ve learned to rest in relationship with God and find joy in this season.
    After reading how can anyone lift up prayer in panic? Ha, all I can think to say is thanks Jesus, you’re a healer and restorer and I know you’ve got this! I just agree and say amen to all that the Lord is doing in this situation.

  3. Kim Murden

    Blessings, stay well. Love and prayers to you and baby. My daughter (aged 12) and I have followed yours story and it has given me wonderful opportunities to talk with her about the loss and trust in God. We will be praying for you over the days until the baby is safe born.

  4. Christa,
    My prayers are with you! Both my kids were preemie. My daughter came at 32 wks (she’s 4 now) and son at 34 wks just a month ago. These tiny ones fight hard. Praying you carry to 35 wks, but take heart dear sister, there is beauty in these early birds. Love you! Praying. God’s holding you!

  5. Natalie H

    Praying for you! My water broke when I was 33 weeks, and like you, I felt totally at peace- peace that ONLY God can give. My daughter was 5lbs 9oz at birth and miraculously only spent 9 days in the NICU. She is now 1 year, 8 months and 33.8lbs… Healthy, happy and FULL of energy! My heart goes out to you as you wait for you little girl. Believing with you for healing in your body as she continues to grow stronger!

  6. Emily Christine Rodriguez

    Beautiful mama, our God is fighting for you & your girl, and so are we! My friend Enid here at Liberty in NYC started going into labor at 30 weeks & was centimeters dilated- after hours of prayer, her cervix literally began CLOSING on its own & stayed back together until after her due date! Believing for extraordinary miracles for you & baby girl being knit so perfectly in you!

  7. Hayley Banks

    Dearest Christa,
    My heart breaks for you and your gorgeous family. Reading this story about today and I can’t help but draw parallels to what happened to my sister-in-law only 12 months ago. My mum got a call from my brother, very worried about his pregnant wife. It was her fourth child, didn’t have any issues with the others and they thought that her waters had broken at 30 weeks. Thankfully they hadn’t, but there was a leak. They were living in the country so she was put in an ambulance and driven three hours to the main hospital in the city. So my brother was packing up the other kids and following them in. The doctors said she would have to stay there until the baby was born. As their eldest was in school, a week later my brother started to head back to their town, only to get a call from his wife to turn around: she had gone into labour. So my neice was born at 31 weeks. She was in the NICU in the city hospital for 10 days, when she was transferred back to the country town hospital paediatric department. I had the amazing opportunity to hold her at 12 days old. She was so very small, barely the size of her sister’s baby doll. It was then that I was in awe of our God. This tiny little girl, born 9 weeks before she was supposed to, surviving and thriving in my arms. My brother and his family are not Christians, but I prayed so much for my neice that I’m certain God saved her. She was allowed home from hospital before the full-term gestation date and has developed into a gorgeous little girl. Her first birthday was last week and she is thriving. Take heart my dear, there are many people praying for you and I’m certain our father God has you and your beautiful daughter in his arms, protecting you from harm. You are beautiful and He loves you so much. May you feel peace within this stressful time and press in to our Father.
    Bless you dear heart.

  8. The same exact thing happened to me with my boy. He was delivered at 30 weeks and 2 pounds 13 oz. he is now 7 years old and the tallest in his class! No problems whatsoever!!!!!

  9. Susie Teeters

    The same thing happened to our first born, Caleb (now 35 yrs. old – friend of your brother Michael) with fluid leaking and then rupturing. He was 2 1/2 months early and came home with us after 7 days! In Jesus name, I speak life!

  10. Shaileigh

    Hi Chrsta… Im praying for you! I was born at 26 weeks …. My mum rested in God top! My story is on YouTube filmed by my church a few years ago I’ll try and get the link

  11. A French Reader

    Bonjour Christa,
    Thank you for your blog, your authenticity. Reading your blog changes my life and the perception of what I am going through. You can’t imagine the impact you have, the peace and restoration that is released from your blog. It’s so powerful. Merci merci merci
    I pray for you and your baby girl. You are both safe in His arms
    Can’t wait to read your book 🙂

  12. Elaina Malcolm

    Wow, wow, wow! I’m quite certain that God is working things out like this for many people because I’m walking my own road of unknowns with an incredible peace. And how amazing it is to have that peace and rest, knowing we are covered by a powerful, merciful God who is able to do greater than we could ever imagine. Thank you for sharing your story.

  13. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story! Last year my water broke when I was 26 weeks along. I had Charli at 27 weeks; she weighed 1 lb 14 oz. and did so well. Now she is over a year old and still doing fabulous. I learned to take one day at a time and leaned on the fact that His mercies are new every morning. Praying for you!

  14. Aisling Finnon

    Hey Christa! I’m praying for you – I fully believe in my heart that your little one is going to be just fine. I pray that the peace of God would continue to invade your heart and mind. The Father makes all things beautiful in its time and the birth of this amazing daughter will be just that. My waters broke at 30wks last year and I delivered at 32.6wks – my daughter did amazing she spent – 13 days in the NICU. I too had previously lost a baby so I know the fear that can try to take hold but as I rested in Him I felt such peace and knew I would hold this little one and raise her. When I visited the NICU at 30 wks the staff were so encouraging that they don’t worry very much once babies reach this gestation as they tend to thrive. Her arrival story may not be all you had hoped for but the Father will use it for His glory as I know you know. I’m sure she is a fighter just like her mama… And thou she be but little, she is fierce!!!

  15. Susie Garcia Robinson

    This had me in tears…tears of JOY and revelation!!!!!! I am so excited to see that little pink bundle of joy in your arms. What a marvelous peace to be in!!!! I know I do NOT know you PERSONALLY, I LOVE YOU Christa! Am praying with excitement!!!!!

  16. Dear Mrs. Christa, I’m standing in pray agreeing that God’s hand is on you and your sweet daughter! He has plans for her and I know they are good!!! Believing that Father God will close and mend the place were you have lost fluid. Speaking peace over your body, that labor will subside in Jesus name!!! No matter what He has you both! We had our daughter Raina at 33 weeks (she left the NICU in just 4 days) and our little Ella at 24 weeks (she is now 9 and thriving) Nothing is impossible for Him!!! No limits to His goodness!
    “I shall live and not die and will declare the works of God.” Psalms 118,17
    Love you Mrs. Christa!!! I think you’re amazing!

  17. Carolyn

    Christa! Not five minutes after I read this, I took my doggy outside. As we sat there, a real live gold monarch flew by, right in front of our faces. It was so crazy. Totally a sign of Luca Gold’s legacy of hope and healing. Your story is an encouragement that God is showing off big time in more ways than we know. I hope you stay encouraged as well as you anticipate baby #3!

  18. DevAlicea

    All your curses will surrender
    Every demon work will kneel
    They’re just mountains, mountains
    ABOUT TO TURN INTO FIELDS!

    We’re the fire, from the sun
    We’re the light when the day is done
    We are the brave, we’re the chosen ones
    We’re the diamonds, diamonds
    Rising up out the dust.

    Because I know you have the same love for the duo that is Johnnyswim and the redemptive power of this song. And because I finally got to see them live in LA last night and the whole venue was soaking in the Fathers Love despite never speaking His name or declaring His power, so much so that I’m still glowing. And then this morning I wake to your post and this is the first thing my heart sings. I’m so grateful for you and your heart and your teaching and am excited to watch the Father show off in your life. Standing and believing with you, my fellow Diamond, RISEN up out the dust.

    LOVE

  19. Amy M Kolar

    Amen! Testimony; friends started dilating at 17 weeks and was told to make funeral plans for her baby. she refused. she said do everything you can to save my baby. they laid her on her head basically for 12 weeks! Her baby was born at 29 weeks and Breathed on her own without Assistance! They called her miracle baby and all the staff were mystified! I agree with heaven that this little one will defy statistics! As an l&d nurse I say “do it again lord!” Love ur heart and words Christa! That Christ be glorified!

  20. Christa, you may not remember, but both my boys were born early for the same reason (premature rupture of membranes- PROM). My water broke with Sterling at 28.5 weeks. I stayed in the hospital until 35 weeks then they induced. I had steroid shots weekly, sonogram weekly, and medicine to stop contractions every 4 hours. The amniotic fluid continues to be replaced. Six and a half weeks of that and I made it! Keaton, my youngest, my water broke right at 35 weeks and he came so fast they couldn’t stop it. I know exactly what you are going through! No matter what… it will be fine! Your beautiful baby girl will be fine! The whole time I was in the hospital I felt an overwhelming peace. I know that will be there for you as well. Prayers going up for that calm spirit to continue.

  21. mainegirllfriday

    I will pray! and if it is any encouragement I know a family that had a surprise much younger child and lost amniotic fluid about 4 months early. Bed rest was the rule…and their entirely healthy daughter was delivered several months later very close to or at full-term. I pray you will have the same experience!

  22. Rest in him Christa! You’ve spent time with my sweet Korwynn after a pregnancy where I was on bed rest for 7 months losing amniotic fluid weekly. God is good! Keri

  23. Shirley Gibney

    Last weekend I googled your name to see how you were doing and have had you on my mind since. Have prayed and will continue to pray you will have His peace in and around you. So pleased to see your update. I know that the blessings you have poured out on others will be returned to you a hundredfold. God bless you and your husband and your two little ones,your son and your little girl waiting to join you at the right time.xx

  24. Gods power and love is hovering over you & He is saying,
    “Touch not my anointed!”
    I am in full agreement with you & only speaking Gods Word over you & your precious baby girl…God will be a wall of fire around you & will be the glory in your midst.
    Expecting with you, Christa….Rest in His care!!
    much love from deep in the heart of Texas. 🙂

  25. Ok you’re amazing and an inspiration! I pray that the doctors are nurses are moved when they see your strength and peace. You are different, but why? I heard this quote and it is perfectly relevant.

    “May I preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words.”

    You go girl… This is just another amazing story you were meant to tell! Xoxo

  26. Praying for you and your daughter! Wow this is amazing what you write, and where you are at with His peace.
    Yes He can and yes He will. He’s your Daddy and this “rest place” is the place from which He wants us all to live – wow you’re in that place. I understand from hearing your story, how you’ve worked through your pain with Him to get here, and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through but you’ve held onto Him so well. Thank you for sharing this pain but also your revelation.
    Anyway I had these lyrics cone to mind for you. If you can see we all of heaven is behind you and we are praying, just know you are not alone as the lyrics say: ‘there’s an army rising up… To break every chain, break every chain. There’s Power in the name of Jesus’. and all heaven is excited at what God is doing here. Thank you Jesus!
    Blessings xxx

  27. Rebecca Fields Logue

    I’ve had you on my mind this week. God is wanting me to join with you in prayer! He is so faithful and His mercies are new every morning!! And His peace passes all understanding! Becki Logue, Vicksburg, MS

  28. Janice Warren

    Please know you and your baby girl are in the prayers and hearts of my Bible study sisters in Texas. Dear Father in heaven , thank you for your protection, shelter, strength and love toward Christa,her baby girl, her husband, and the medical team .

  29. Sarah Fleming

    Dear Father in Heaven, please watch over this family and heal this baby. Her family hopes to wait a little longer before they meet but regardless please take care of this family and wrap them in your love.
    Amen

  30. This baby girl will be born safe and Jesus will do mighty things through her. Thank you Christa for allowing Jesus to speak through you – this touched my heart. Much love

  31. amazing Christa beautiful post. Thinking of you and praying for you to wrap you all in his peace and protection ! Christa, rest under the shadow of the almighty! . can’t wait to see your baby girl

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