July 15, 2017

Smiling In A Storm

So far my day has been interesting. Lox was up for an hour at 1am…so I was up for an hour or two at 1am! Then when I got breakfast in front of the kids this am, Moses spilled cereal & milk all over the floor while I nursed Lox, and when he came to tell me, Birdie decided to dump Moses's water out everywhere as they screamed at each other. ???????? To lighten the mood, I figured I'd let Birdie help me make eggs, telling her “don't touch the stove, baby girl. It's HOT.” Her response? To stare at me in defiance and put her entire hand down on the hot stove. ???????????? (wails, screams, snot, more screams!) ????Did I mention Birdie is getting over Hand, Foot and Mouth and she has an itchy rash covering 50 percent of her body? ???? Oh, and did I mention I sound like a large smoking man with a bad cough with the energy of a slug? Oh, and clincher……the hubs out of town for work. ???????????????? I. Felt. Like. A. Tornado. Inside. This. Morning. ???? I felt like I just wanted to curl up on the couch, burst into tears, and just quit. ????. After FINALLY finding the lavender oil to take out some of the burn, holding my little Bird tight on the couch as she cried louder than I've ever heard her cry, I stopped, closed my eyes, and regrouped. Panicky, hopeless, frustrated Christa wasn't going to be of any good to this situation. Anxious Christa wasn't going to make the burn go away, or give my sick body energy, bring my husband back, or comfort my daughter. I needed to get to the REAL Christa. I needed to get into my truest heart. ❤️ I took a deep breath, getting out of the chaos and into the NOW….the only place I can ever experience the presence of God. And as I shifted the panic in MY heart to a place of peace, guess what I was able to give to my daughter? A haven of peace inside of her pain. As I breathed out my anxiety and, once again, FELT my heart anchored in Love…love was what I had to give. ???????? “COMEON kids, let's walk to get a chocolate muffin.” We all piled in the stroller, with spills still on the floor, CHOOSING joy inside of a bad situation. We still have burns, rashes and coughs, but because Mommy found a way to smile in the rain, so did they. ☺️ #Instablog#WINNING

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