March 15, 2017

No Makeup

You have no idea how badly I wanted to add a filter on this picture. ☺️ Today is photoshoot day. I need new pictures, and photo shoots have notoriously brought out my deepest insecurities. Since we booked the shoot I have had an array of shadowed emotions & thoughts…..I still have some baby weight and don't look good enough. I'm getting older and have more wrinkles under my eyes. I get up in the night with a baby and just look tired. My hair is falling out after Loxley and my hair isn't thick enough. MY LEG HAIR COULD BE BRAIDED. ???? But instead of judging these emotions and thoughts, I simply become conscious of them. I pull back into my Spirit-Self….my TRUE Self….and OBSERVE the little insecure Christa without judgment. She is a little girl who never felt like she was enough. She was rejected by boys, made fun of with knobby knees, red hair and freckles. She always felt ugly from early sexual shame and violation. And she still carries a lot of pain. You see, my insecurities about my outer world aren't wrong–they simply point to an inner world that holds a little girl inside of my heart who just wants to be loved. ????❤So with every insecure emotion that pops up today as I prepare for my shoot, I'll pull that little part of me a little closer, hold her tight without criticism, and love her the way she's always wanted to be loved, but never believed she could be. ???????? #instablogger#keeingitreal #deeperacceptance

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