In preschool I could sit cross legged like all the other kids. But kindergarten started and my right hip had locked up & my leg wouldn't turn. Over the years I just excused it away, “Oh, it's just my wonky inflexible hip!” *
Inflexible. I have always been inflexible. ???? *
This year, I stopped ignoring my body and the messages it was trying to send me. In fact, I believe that our bodies are constantly screaming at us, trying to get our attention. If we won't take a break, they'll take over and get sick so we HAVE to stop and heal. If our thoughts are toxic, our bodies can get toxic, too. If something traumatic happens and we don't know how to release it, heal, and let go, the trauma can lodge down into the cellular level and alter our physical state. *
Just ask my inflexible hip that's been trying to tell me something for 35 years. ????
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As I leaned in and started paying attention to my body this year without only treating the symptoms–my overactive thyroid, fatigue, cold sores, UTI's, sinus infections and inflexibility—I learned that my body was like a computer screen revealing all sorts of things going on in my emotions & thoughts. *
I also found my body was a dear friend, always creating life, trying to help me heal. *
The right side of the body has been known to represent the masculine, the giving out side, where you express. The left is seen as the receiving side, where you take in.  So what has my inflexible right hip been trying to tell me as it's been locked up for decades?
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As a little girl, I longed for the adoration of the masculine.  But because of some early disappointments, rejection, and abuse (outside the home) from men, I went to war with the men. * “You will not hurt me, men. & you might not adore me, but you're going to respect me and want me around, because I'm going to ballbust until I'm better than you.”
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I found my way to get attention from men…achievement. It wasn't the attention I wanted, but it was better than nothing. ???? As I continue to make peace with men, & make peace with the strong masculine essence (energy) that I've lived in, my hip is softening up as my heart is softening into the feminine. ???????? #instablog #healing