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September 24, 2014

Can Rejection Be A Good Thing?

After turning in my next book proposal to my literary agent a few weeks ago to pitch to publishers, in a meeting with my agent yesterday, she said unexpected words that I hadn't expected to hear:

Rejection Just Ahead Green Road Sign with Dramatic Storm Clouds and Sky.“So, two publishing companies have passed on your book, because they've already acquired books with similar subjects.”

And as the words came from her lips, and twisted into my ears, all I heard her saying was, “Your daughters death, life, and how she's teaching you to thrive inside of pain isn't important enough to publish for people to read.”

Every day since Goldie died in my arms on March 5 of this year, I've been wrapped safely inside the most fluffy, tangible, perfect down Comforter named the Holy Spirit.  And this blanket has been wet from sobs and snot, bloody from wounds that gaped wide, tightened up close to keep me dry inside the storm of my life, and laid out in the sunshine to begin the healing process.  This blanket called the Comforter has swaddled me up like a baby, keeping all the broken pieces of my shattered heart in one place while the Healer puts them all back together.

Pain isn't destroying me like it has in the past.  Pain is actually teaching me how to heal.

As long as I have breath, I will teach the broken hearted how to be put back together and made whole.  This story that I've been entrusted with in the life and tragic death of my daughter is the most important story of my life—especially since every person I've ever met has been smashed and beaten up by the wrecking balls of pain.  Unfortunately, many stay wounded (especially Christians), hiding their hurt behind mirages of perfection and performance, having no idea how to be vulnerable and heal.  Wounded Christians are bleeding all over their families, their churches, and a desperately hurting world.  And because the church remains filled with broken people trying to hide their dysfunction, the wounded never heal, and as a result, the world doesn't want the Jesus we're offering them.

Because we haven't allowed the real Jesus to heal us first.

It's my life mission to lead hearts to the only One who can bind up their brokenness, love them into wholeness, and lead them into lasting freedom, peace, and joy.

 

After hanging up the phone yesterday and hearing how two companies had passed on my book, swirling with emotions that needed to be tamed with truth, I stopped, took a deep breath, and did the very thing I wrote about in Monday's blog.  I pulled my Comforter blanket tightly around my hurting heart before the poison of rejection could sink its teeth in and do any damage, curled up in my Father's warm lap, and asked my beautiful Jesus a few very important questions:

 

What do YOU say about me, Father—not the two publishing companies that didn't want my book…..

What do YOU say about my daughter, my ministry, and my future?  

What do YOU say about the hours I've spent pouring over these pages, crying out to you for wisdom, clinging to your presence as you coach me through the chapters, painting a clear pathway for me to teach your broken hearted kids how to heal, be restored, and transform inside of their pain?

What are YOU doing in this process, Father?  Is this rejection, or is this protection?

 

And as I took my eyes off of what I thought was a problem, looking UP into the eyes of my Father, He began pulling back the curtain and revealing what He was up to.  I closed my eyes and saw my head rest against His chest, feeling Him lean down and put His lips on the top of my head, kissing the little girl who felt like she hadn't been picked for kickball on the playground.

He told me how proud of me He was.  He told me how much He appreciated the time, tears, prayers, and sacrifice that I put into crafting a book that can teach His kids how to heal as I am healing.  He told me that I'm starting to look more and more like Him—because He burns to see hearts restored to the wholeness He provides.  He reminded me that He's the one in control of this entire process—and that He shut the doors that didn't have what I needed on the other side—planning to open the right doors that contained an incredible future full of hope.  He said that each word that I'd already written were far more important to Him than they were to me—because He holds the hearts of the hurting every moment, wiping their tears day by day.  He hears their cries for help, for freedom, for release from the pain.  He told me of His plans for this book that I'm writing—and how He's already scheming to get the words of breakthrough into the right hands.  He showed me the anointing on my life—and reminded me of words spoken over me a decade ago—that there's a healing anointing released when I open my mouth, and that captives are set free when I pour out what He's placed inside.

 

Within 10 minutes inside the lap of my Father, I didn't feel rejected anymore—in fact, that rejection had been used to my advantage, driving me further into the arms of the solution.  I felt empowered.  I felt confident in what my Father was up to.  How could I be wounded by doors that had closed for my book if my Father was the one who had closed them?

Rejection was actually protection—and I felt safe.

Everything shifted when I heard.  Everything stopped swirling when I saw.  Everything in me believed after the Counselor had spoken—pulling me in closer to wrap His little girl a little tighter inside my Comforter blanket.

 

Dear friend, you cannot fail today if you understand what is available to you in Christ.   You have never served a distant God far off into the sky.  You have a Father who holds you so close.  You have access to the depth of relationship that your heart has always longed for, satisfying every craving.  You cannot feel defeated with a Counselor ready to reveal the mysteries of heaven.  You cannot feel rejected when you understand your Protector.  You cannot feel hopeless when the God of all hope resides inside.  He takes every problem you are facing, and through intimacy, turns those problems upside-down while He becomes the solution.  

 

Even if every publisher that reads my book proposal comes back with a ‘no,' there is absolutely no way that you can stop this woman.  I'm on a mission from heaven, determined to get your broken hearts into the hands of the Healer who currently holds mine—and HE will supernaturally accomplish much more than I ever could.  He's the best Doctor I've ever had.  He's the best Father one could ever imagine.  He's the greatest love my life has ever known—and for the rest of my days, I will lead as many people as I can to the lap where I live my life…..

Sitting as a daughter, being loved by my Father.

 

xx

CBG_SIGNATURE

 

27 Responses to “Can Rejection Be A Good Thing?”

  1. Dawn Magagnotti

    You are pouring forth more healing and hope in this place of rejection than most of would with a bestseller(which Goldie’s story already is). Thank you Christa Black Gifford for releasing your heart through words and letting us have a glimpse of Hope that is Jesus. I love your blog posts, instagram pics and teaching on Worship U. I tell eveyone I know about you because the world needs to hear your voice. Bless you and know that it is WRITTEN!!!

  2. Christa, thank you for all the timely posts on your blog, including this one. Your writing and story as well as you as a woman encourage me so much to persevere through this journey of healing. Your analogy of Holy Spirit as the perfect down Comforter is such a revelation to my heart. Thank you, God, for creating Christa.

  3. Keep on going! I know there are many who need to read the words on those pages that have come from your experiences! Don’t give up! Its Gods desire for all to walk how you are walking in the midst ofyour pain!!!!

  4. Candy Gilbert

    I love this. Healing and wholeness. You don’t wallow around in the problem.
    You move right into the solution. This is what’s been missing for so long. I bless you Christa as you weave yours and Goldie’s story into the book it’s meant to become. And like I said earlier it will be great fun to see which publisher God chooses to get this book into the hands of the hurting. Bless them too.

  5. I’m from Argentina and I hear your preachings in WorshipU since two months ago. Since I heard the very first one, a huge revelation like a wave crashed over me and my relationship with the Father changed completely. So first of all THANK YOU; may God reward you abundantly because you’ve blessed me. And in other hand, you already are being used to restore hearts all over the world… He is going with you much further than what you can imagine. And I just wanted to let you know 🙂 I pray for more of His love and joy over you, and for a complete restoration! I send you lots of love and a huge hug.

  6. Reading that right now, I felt like I was sitting in the lap of the Comforter too….a place my broken heart has needed to rest in for a while now. Thank you. Your words and your story and your faith continue to show me He CAN be trusted and His ways ARE good!

  7. Thanks so much for sharing this Christa today i felt so insecure about things in my life and it was such a God thing and I know that Holy Spirit brought me to see this after reading this my spirit is lifted and there so much to be thankful for in my life that I didnt even see before. I love you Jesus! Thanks Christa

  8. Claudia Bentley

    I’m new to you, your music and writing. I saw you for the first time on WorshipU and was blown away. Then I got a hold of the CD from this book and was blown away by the first song! I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, even those words don’t cover the pain I’m sure I can’t relate to. But I do know pain. Like all of us, varying degrees, pain is pain. I listened to all the videos for the first two weeks of the book, got the book, started to read. Last night I got hit by all kinds of insecurity, fear, anger, scrutiny, suspicion about my husbans activities. We haven’t been very good for a few years since he left and then came back, longer story. I immediately texted my friend and asked her to help me pray. She saw an eye, like Egyptian writing, scepticism. Bam! I was convicted! A bunch of my old stuff had come up and was blasting me in the face and gentley my daddy told me I was wrong. My hubby and I had breakthrough conversation, I told him everything I was feeling and he also told me how he was feeling , happy ending we still love each other and both wish we could start over without all the garbage! There is a chance for me to be healed in the words of the bible and your book as a tool. My daddy loves me, I’m glad he put you in my life to help me, and maybe I can help someone else. Thanks Christa, your awesome! I wish I could tell you more, but it would be a book! HaHa! Love ya girl, we’re sisters!

  9. Your testimony gives me so much hope. So many of us silently suffer with rejection- thank you for talking about it with boldness. Deliverance is talked about a lot in the church, but healing of the heart isnt talked about enough. Many children of God cannot ‘maintain’ their deliverance because inner wounds and harmful belief patterns drive them to sin and captivity again. Thank you for your passion. God bless you with great grace to fulfill your mission.

  10. Keep going girl I pray someone will accept your book bc let me tell you I wud buy it in a heart beat!! Like u said God has that plan for u just keep trusting in him! Love u christa your my hero you’ve showed me so much about God already thank you!!!

  11. Uilani cordeiro

    Amen Christa!!!!!!!!! I’ve seen first hand what the Holy Spirit does to bring hope and healing through your willingness to be a vessel and spokesman. (My life being one of them!) I know God has multitudes to set free and bless through your testimony and I am praying that nothing will hinder you from discerning and running through those doors that only God can open for you! Love you!

  12. Kary Rader

    This post spoke to me almost as much as your powerful word today at Flourish Lite–which is what led me here tonight. My Young Adult Contemporary Novel was rejected over 60 times by editors and agents. It is a story I wrote to deal with buried emotions after my husband battled melanoma cancer. I finally self-published the book July 2013, and although I believe that was God’s plan, it still felt like a failure. Sometimes it still does. But the problem isn’t the book; it’s my heart, my perspective and my failure to hear what My God says about me and my gifts verses what others say. My validation as a writer doesn’t come from the New York anymore than my validation as a person comes from the world. I know that…in my head–unfortunately like you said today it’s my heart that’s a little cattywhompus. But you encouraged me to get better…to get better by listening. That is something I know I can do. 🙂 Thank you, thank you! I am so sorry for your loss that has become a sacrifice and a blessing to me in particular.

  13. Nancy Miller

    Thank you Christa for all your love and tears. My Canadian daughter- in- law and son Jeremiah in Conn told me about you and your book. I’m am 63 but have the anorexia back ground I have been on a journey studying under Katie Souza the Glory Light of Jesus Heals you Soul and this was just one more step in the healing journey. I also have a heart to see the broken hearted healed and bodies super naturally restored.
    God has the perfect door for your book and as you rest in Him you and blessed and a blessing!!!

  14. Demetrice

    You never know why or how you across you something, but I give thanks to God for putting your Instagram page in my path tonight. I was in the Explore when I seen a man standing in front of a moving truck so I decided to click on it. I’m in the process of moving and trying find that to call “HOME”. It has be an up & down, rejection, frustrated journey. This blog has spoken to me and so many ways. When we think it’s man the rejecting us it’s actually God closing the doors we prayed and asked to close if it wasn’t for us. I truely we grateful for this post. Thank you and blessing to you and your family!

  15. Peggy Pickrell

    I have to have this information that is written on the pages of this book,..I can feel the energy of whatever it is that is spoken on and into this book as if it is my lifeline of information that God intends to get into my hands and into my heart..idk how and exactly when?..But I stand in agreement with you Christa that our Father is finding a way ihis way) to full fill this mission that he placed inside of you! God Bless you for doing the footwork and being Obedient to the calling on your life and for your hunger for Gods will to be done through healing hearts of his children..I just cannot thank you enough for your Obedience and hunger for healing to begin in hurting hearts (Christians).
    Xoxo. Prayers for you and your family and that you will soon be feeling your best!..God Bless you Sweetie 🙂

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