April 14, 2017

God doesn’t heal us to use us…

“God doesn't heal us to use us. He heals us because he loves us…& then he invites us to play.” @wpy2009 ❤ For decades, I haven't been very good at playing. As a 3 on the enneagram (achiever/performer), I know how to work FOR something. I know how to do things that have purpose. But playing? Pfffff. Where's the purpose or achievement or recognition in that? One day I told my husband Lucas how guilty I felt, because I hated playing with my son Moses. It was so boring, I said. I'd rather clean his room, or make him lunch…DOING something for him instead of being with him. You know why that was? Because at my core, I didn't like to just be with myself. 😓 I didn't like being still with my inner brokenness….or exist in moments where I wasn't changing the parts of me that weren't good enough. 💔 I've done a ton of inner healing over the years, and so much of it has changed my life. But I must say, the easiest and fastest way that my heart found healing was learning to just PLAY with my kids. The more present I am as we build a stack of blocks for the sole purpose of knocking them all over and having a laugh, the more I experience the Presence of God—the Trinity—the relationship that began everything out of love. And within our laughs, our fun, & the relationship that deepens and blooms….My heart heals a little more every time. ❤ #goodfriday #instablog

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Mayah
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